External auditor = Prostitute?

I am here now to prove external auditor is similar to a prostitute. 30 points to consider and all of them matches. Believe me.

1. You work very odd hours.
- Yeah. Usually past 12 am.

2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.
- Still considered a cheap labour.

3. You are paid well but your p1mp gets most of the money.
- The boss gets 10 times more than mine now each month

4. You spend a majority of your time in a hotel room.
- True for outstation jobs.

5. You charge by the hour but your time can be extended.
- Yup! Lotsa time work for free!

6. You are not proud of what you do.
- No fun, no enjoyment, rushing clients, sometimes being yelled at/yell to, solving problems, meets funny people, you name it. Nothing to be proud of.

7. Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.
- Hynotize the client yeah!

8. It's difficult to have a family.
- Usually most of the auditors got broke up. And, worst of all, no time to find a new one!

9. You have no job satisfaction.
- Sometimes I do have. If I do with the jobs or people I like.

10. If a client beats you up, the p1mp just sends you to another client.
- Whenever a colleague got fucked up with client, I will take over! Hell Yeah!

11. You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living.
- Yea, sometimes it even worries others who care about me.

12. People ask you, "What do you do?" and you can't explain it.
- True! Why nobody knows what is auditing? "Checking accounts job" Can't you just understand!

13. Your client pays for your hotel room plus your hourly rate.
- Sometimes the hotel doesn't seem to be an enjoying and relaxing place for me anymore.

14. Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what they get for the money.
- Always.

15. Your pimp drives nice cars like Mercedes or Jaguars.
- My p1mp drives BM, Merce, Volvo....

16. Your p1mp encourages drinking and you become addicted to drugs to ease the pain of it all.
- The p1mp knows how suffering it is, coz they have too "been thru" it.

17. You know the p1mp is charging more than you are worth but if the client is foolish enough to pay it's not your problem.
- Monthly salary is 3,300 divided by (8.5 hrs x 21 working days) is $18.5 per hour. In fact my "cost" each day to compute for profit or loss for a particular client is $200 per hour.

18. When you leave to go see a client, you look great, but return looking like hell (compare your appearance on Monday AM to Friday PM).
- Each day after certain working hour everyone "transformed".

19. You are rated on your "performance" in an excruciating ordeal.
- Underperforming is not the answer for anyone to survive.

20. Even though you get paid the big bucks, it's the client who walks away smiling.
- Yeah.

21. The client always thinks your "cut" of your billing rate is higher than it actually is, and in turn, expects miracles from you.
- We are not wizards. You can't blame all your figures on us!

22. When you deduct your "take" from your billing rate, you constantly wonder if you could get a better deal with another pimp.
- Find a good p1mp

23. Your p1mp seems to often abuse you, forgetting that without you, he would not have a business.
- My p1mp said, "we can hire a new one to replace you. You can go and it's not our major concern." Appreciation is zero! Infact, negative.

24. You do all the real work, but the p1mp has a higher stigma and more money, and really just has to "coordinate" the work for you. Sometimes, you wonder if you could just make more money p1mping out yourself.
- Funny, but it's true.

25. You get so brainwashed into the lifestyle, that you don't realize that life can be better, until it is too late.
- I can see some examples around....... quite some of them.. They just can't get out of this line. When they left, they come back. Why?

26. Personal time, or a work/life balance, is meaningless to your p1mp, all he cares about is satisfying the clients.
- P1mp never cares at all!

27. After a few years, you find that all your non-pr0stitute friends are no longer your friends, because you lost touch and your schedule and lifestyle was difficult to manage, and you find that you associate primarily with other pr0stitutes.
- That's what my life goes now.

28. The turnover rate is ridiculously high. Everyone thinks they can do it for a few years, no problem, but after just a few clients railing you, many break under the pressure, or quit for a better life.
- I will never give up until my "maturity" time comes.

29. Most of the time, your job could be performed by a well-trained monkey.
- Hehe. Funny.

30. You thought college was a waste of time.
- I have forgotten 95% of the theories I learned and I think anyone can join the protitution industry as long as quality is there.